Mental detachment- practice it always to be happy.
74Draw away from clinging and clamoring relationships and become emotionally independent, so that you lead your life with self respect and steady mental equilibri
What is mental detachment? In your day to day life you become emotional about certain things and feel deprived when things do not happen as you wanted. This makes you feel unhappy and you brood about it. Will this brooding get you anywhere? You will feel lost and depressed. You cling to relationships and invariably you get hurt easily and you are at loss to cope up with your hurt feelings.
What is the answer to this feeling of loss? You should mentally detach yourself from going too deep into any problem or relationships. You have your children and your world revolves around them. You work hectically for their education and well being. You become emotionally involved in their life and feel you cannot exist without them. Your children might have come from you, but they can never be yours always.
They have their own life to live and as they grow, they deviate from you and start becoming independent. If you take your children’s freedom in your stride, your life will be normal and usual. If on the other hand you feel that they do not love and respect you anymore, your life will be torturous and you will feel emotionally drained. This is where mental detachment plays a vital part. You should love your children, but be mentally detached to allow them live their own lives.
When you are mentally detached you do not cling and clamor for attention. You take a step back and become emotionally strong so that you will not feel helpless when your children leave you to lead their own life. This does not mean you don’t love them, it simply means you acknowledge the fact that they are individuals with thoughts of their own.
In everyday life also you should be mentally detached to see things in its proper perspective. You should take a third party view of your problems and you will find that it is your emotional demands that are the culprit in all your wrong decisions and your hurt feelings. For example, suppose someone rams your car and damages it, you become livid with anger and there is a harsh exchange of words. If you become too involved you might come to blows with that person who damaged your car.
Have you achieved anything out of your outburst? You might shoot up your hypertension perhaps, nothing more. Your broke loose because you became emotionally charged that your car that you so cared for has been damaged. If you had been mentally detached at that time, you would have said a few harsh words and moved away. Your detachment makes you cool and you know that there is the insurance to take care of things and there ends the matter.
In marriage also, if you grip on to your relationship there is a tight feeling of suffocation. When you are emotionally ready to acknowledge that your spouse is an individual and has every right to have certain breathing space, you stop breathing down the neck of your spouse and there is relief on both sides. You respect your spouse’s individuality and this brings in fresh air of goodness into your marriage.
In this fast paced life, it is essential you are mentally detached to be sane and balanced in your life. Draw away from clinging and clamoring relationships and become emotionally independent, so that you lead your life with self respect and steady mental equilibrium.
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ya, very true Mathi. But I feel it's more easy to say that" remain detached". Doing or practicing it requires a lot of meditation and mental control..I feel this is the gist of life. If one has attained it, he/she has attained everything.Thanks! Shruti@writerspavilion
You are right writerspavilion, it takes lot of will power to remain detached, but when you master it you feel a lot more happier.
Very insightful, thanks for sharing mathira!
How about treating yourself as trustee of Divine in dealing with your worldly affairs. Be it kids, spouse, business or your work. When ownership is gone so are attachments.
thanks
Good thought, Mypath.
Thanks for your good comments,Nicole.
Yes, mental detachment not only in matters of relationships but all with all the matters of life, pays. This detachment is easily earned if you make yourself less sensitive and more sensible in matters of life. That is what makes you an intellectual.
Very good information. Voted up. I think mental detachment is very critical for happiness as you shared in this article. When we are detached, we can love our family more as we don't have any selfish motives. I agree this is most important when it comes to parent child or husband wife relationship.
Excellent Hub and profound advice, Mathira. Voted UP! Best, Sis
ranbansal, you are right when you say that mental detachment is essential in everything life leads us to.Thank you for visiting.
Ruchi, you rightly said that happiness in life entirely depends on us. When we are mentally detached we can enjoy the true essence of relationships. Thank you for your comments.
Hi Mathira you always give great advice. I agree with your article. You can save yourself a lot of time and pain from mentally detaching from painful feelings that situations can bring to you. Voted up.
You are right on target carolinemd21, mentally detaching yourself can save you lots of pain. Thank you for visiting.
Another insightful hub Mathira, enjoyed it!
So true, Mathi. Among the people of our parents' generation this is a problem, for many of them still cling to the old Indian notion of families where the aged 'head' of family decides on every issue. Our generation is probably more resigned to children moving apart of parents after some time. voted up useful.
shruti@writerspavilion 4 months ago
ya, very true Mathi. But I feel it's more easy to say that" remain detached". Doing or practicing it requires a lot of meditation and mental control..I feel this is the gist of life. If one has attained it, he/she has attained everything.Thanks! Shruti@writerspavilion